


Just pieces of paper

by Amie33



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-03
Updated: 2013-04-03
Packaged: 2017-12-07 08:58:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amie33/pseuds/Amie33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It became a habit between them. Each time she left, she let something for him, and he hid a note in her clothes or her shoes or into her toilet bag.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just pieces of paper

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Jenn for the beta.

It was three in the morning when the alarm rang. Alex quickly stretched out and blindly hit the alarm off. An arm slipped around her waist as she groaned.

“Is it time already?” Matt whispered sleepily into her neck and she yawned before answering.

“It is.”

“I don’t want you to go.” Her heart clenched at his words. She was as reluctant to leave as he was to let her go, but she didn’t really have the choice. She turned back to face him, resting her forehead against his.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“Don’t leave.”

She sighed. If there was more light in the room, she believed she could have seen him making those eyes - the one she could barely resist.

“I can’t.”

“I know,” he confessed in a sigh. His grip tightened around her, and it broke her heart a bit more. After years of endless flirting, Matt and she had finally turned from friends to lovers, but now she was due back to America. She needed to work, and to see her daughter, and she had already delayed her departure as late as she could. She had no choice but to leave now.

“I have to go.”

This time he didn’t try to fight, only nodding in defeat. She stroked his cheek before kissing him, and he sighed into her mouth as he clung to her and kissed her back. It was slow and tender, but at the same time urgent and passionate - a goodbye kiss where they both put everything they couldn’t say each other.

She was one to pull away first. She needed to get out of bed and leave before he made her change her mind; she couldn’t miss her plane.

“I’ll phone you when I arrive.”

“Okay.”

With that she freed from his embrace, leaving the warm and soft cover of the bed. She could hear Matt sigh as she headed to the bathroom, but she refused to come back. An hour later he was snoring soundly as she exited the flat and rushed into a taxi, straight to the airport.

x.

It took her almost a week to find the note he left her. It was hidden in one of her coats, and she couldn’t help but smile as she thought that only Matt could have thought about letting things in her coat and hope she would find it. She was in L.A., she barely even used a coat. She understood now while he sounded so disappointed when she phoned or texted him. He must have been waiting for her to find his words.

It was not something spectacular. Just a few words he had written, _“I miss you, come back soon xx”_ and a drawing of him and her kissing. Or at least she guesses, it looked more like a thing her daughter would have made... when she was three. But she found the intention cute and it reminded her as much as she missed him, even if they phoned or saw each other on Skype everyday. He was an ocean from her, and she missed him.

This night when she came back home she couldn’t phone him; he was working very early and wouldn’t answer. So she just listened to his voicemail again and again. She ended leaving a message with a shaking voice “I miss you too, you idiot,” and finally let go of her phone. She fell asleep wearing the shirt she had stole from him, hugging a pillow and pretending he was here with her.

x.

Ten weeks, six days and four hours, it was the time she was gone. They didn’t want to make their relationship public yet so he wasn’t waiting for her at the airport when she finally came back in the same country as his, but just putting her feet on the same ground she felt better. She asked for a cab and gave her address, willing only to take a quick shower and change before heading to his flat. She was tired and got a bit of headache after the long plane trip, but it was nothing compared to the need to see him, to touch him, to feel him again.

She entered her flat, slipping out of her shoes and dragging her heavy suitcase behind her. She didn’t make it through the entire hallway before she knew there was something different. The light was on in the living room, there was a delicious smell hanging in the air and she could hear some kind of some music that she was sure didn’t come from one of her cds.

“Matt?”

She let go of her suitcase and her purse, barely hearing them falling on the ground, her heart pounding into her chest madly. It was hard to believe but he was there, in her kitchen, an apron around his waist and a spoon in his hand, making her dinner. He grinned when he saw her, and she didn’t let him drop the utensil before running into his waiting arms and kissing him passionately. He kissed her back with the same enthusiasm, his hands roaming over her body, into her hair, against her back, above her thighs, while her fingers clenched around his shirt and she pressed him as close as she could.

They were both breathless when they parted, and she realised she was trapped between the countertop and Matt’s body, her blouse half open and her leg wrapped tightly around his waist.

“Welcome home,” he breathed out, stroking her face and she could feel the tears pricking her eyes.

They forgot the dinner and it almost burnt the whole building.

x.

A few weeks later and she had to leave again. Matt wasn’t with her this time; there were new episodes of Doctor Who soon and he had his promotional tour to do again. She had barely seen him between the interviews and photoshoots and her own days of filming. He sneaked into bed late at night, and she was to go early in the morning. It was even more frustrating than when she was in America, because he was close but she could barely have a moment with him. They only managed to watch a movie together and had a weekend of two, doing nothing but watching movies on his couch and snogging.

All too soon she packed her things again, and he said goodbye late at night while he could do. She woke up alone in the morning, already missing him. Even if it had been hard last time to go while he begged her not to, it felt harder to leave without even at all.

She was about to step out when she remembered the note he had written for her the previous time, and so she stayed a bit longer. She hadn’t prepared anything, but it felt like he hadn’t prepared it either, so she guessed he wouldn’t mind. She just grabbed a piece of paper, sprayed a bit of her perfume on it and kissed it, making sure to leave a clear mark of her lipstick on it. She added a few words _“I miss you too, see you soon”_ and left the paper on her pillow.

Glancing a last time at the room, she took her things and left.

x.

She wasn’t surprised when, opening her things in L.A., she found another piece of paper with his writing. Apparently he had learned from his previous mistake, and the note was easier to find, stuck in the shirt of his she had taken. _“So you can pretend we’re always near”_ was written in a corner, and on the other side of the paper was a picture of him, laying in his bed, faking to be asleep. She smiled at it, and put the photo on her bedside table. Every night she fell asleep after kissing it, facing the picture and imagining he was really here.

x.

It became a habit between them. Each time she left, she let something for him, and he hid a note in her clothes or her shoes or into her toilet bag. Once she find one around on of her lipstick tube and held by an elastic band _“It’s my favorite of yours. Think of me when you put it on and think it’s as if I was kissing you”_ and she recognize the one she used when she kissed her note. She left him pieces of poetry, or a few words of love, sometimes she drew him (her drawing skills are far better than his); he took pictures or recorded her music, and one day she found a dried flower packed with her things.

She kept everything in L.A., and soon there wasn’t a room in her house that didn’t host a gift from him. It made her feel like he was almost here with her.

x.

There had been together for almost two years now, and Alex was back in America, again. Their story was nothing but a cycle of goodbyes and reunions, and she was tired of it. She would like him to be with her all the time, she would like to settle definitively in one place with him and never leave again. All the touches of him she had in her place weren’t enough; something she stared at them and it only reminded her how far he was and how much she missed him.

Right now she entered her house, and the first thing she did, as she had taken the habit to, was to open her suitcase and unpack her clothes, eager to find what he had let her this time. She knew it was against the spirit of their little game, that she was supposed to find his note of picture or whatever he had thought about by chance, but she couldn’t wait. She had seen him a few hours ago, but she missed him already and she needed to find something that linked her to him.

She put all her clothes in her cupboard after unfolding and folding back everything, not forgetting to check into the pockets, she turned all her shoes over in case something might drop, she opened her books before they found their way back into the shelves, she looked into her bottles of shampoo and perfume; she checked everything she could think about, twice, before realising that, no, there was nothing waiting for her.

She swallowed as a wave a disappointment grew in her chest. It was the first time he hadn’t thought of her and let something for her. Did he forget? Did she lose it? Did he was tired of it? Did she do something wrong? She couldn’t help questions rushing in her head, before she forced herself to calm down. It was not important; they were just pieces of paper, it didn’t mean anything.

Rubbing her eyes with her palms, she decided she must stop thinking about it. She phoned to command takeaway for dinner, and took a shower while waiting for the delivery. She just stepped out of the shower when the bells rings and she cursed. She grabbed her bathrobe and hurry out of the room, shouting to the delivery man not to move while she rummaged in her purse for money.

“I didn’t expect you so fast,” she answered as she opened the door, still looking for actual dollars between her pounds change. She finally found an American note and hold it out.

Her breath stopped as, instead of the delivery man, she found Matt facing her, a grin spread on his face, her actual takeaway in his head, and a suitcase in the other.

“Is it the way you open to all the delivery men? I’m going to be jealous.”

She ignored the comment, too focused on Matt - actually Matt, in L.A., standing on her doorway.

“What... How?”

“I took the plane after yours.”

“But... You...” She stopped speaking then, out of words, her heart beating madly in her chest and tears in her eyes. She couldn’t believe he made all the way across the ocean to her. After the disappointment of not finding any note from him, she couldn’t believe it was real.

“I’m sorry, love, but do you think you can stop staring at me and let me come inside?” he finally said and she wondered how much time she had stayed still.

“Yes, right, course.”

She moved aside to make him enter, shutting the door behind him. She barely let him the time to dispose of the takeaway before jumping into his arms and kissing him. He responded instantly, his arms snaking around her and pulling her closer.

“I’ve missed you,” she whispered but he didn’t reply, kissing her again and carrying her to the bedroom.

x.

Later that day, they were both naked between her sheets, empty boxes of food scattered on the floor. She snuggled against his chest and sighed happily, still amazed that this could be real.

“I was angry,” she admitted.

“Why?”

“I didn’t find anything from you. I thought you had forgotten me.”

She realised now how stupid she could have been to think such a thing.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to surprise you.”

“I know.”

She smiled at him, and he smiled back, it was quickly replaced by a frown that he couldn’t hide to her.

“I have to confess, we’ll never have to do this anymore.” For the second time tonight her heart stopped, and her skin rapidly covered with gooseflesh as she wondered what he meant. “I’m going to move here.”

“You what?”

“We’re shooting my last episodes as the Doctor and I want to move. I love Cardiff but this is not where you spend most of your time, and there is lots of possibilities for me here, so I decided that I’m going to try my luck and stay with you here and...”

She didn’t let him finish, laughing as she kissed him. he was moving here. For real. In L.A., with her.

They never have to use pieces of paper anymore.

**_the end_ **


End file.
